Param Para: Answers to Questions on the Spiritual Path  
by Swami Amar Jyoti

How do I learn to suppress my emotions so I am not so emotional?

I am not in favor of suppression of emotions, nor of primal therapy to relieve the emotions. There is another way, a middle path: do not let your emotions be too loose but do not suppress them. Just control them. How? Choose an aspect of the Divine and concentrate upon that. Another way: sit in silence when an emotion rises; try to see it, understand it and reflect upon it. Controlling the floodwater of emotions requires daily practice. When any emotion arises, divert it to your Goal, or see it and relax it.

Suppression of emotions is wrong. Leakages will arise in one or more ways. Also letting your emotions run loose creates a bad habit. Well-controlled emotions are a power. Practice in meditation and prayer to divert your emotions to the Goal, or reflect upon them and use your will power to control them. It is a diversion or regeneration of energy. By control you are using that harnessed energy.

Sit for meditation daily twice or thrice. Do not give excuses. First control your own mind before you control others. Find your own inner victory before you find victory outside you. Repeat the Holy Name or meditate on your chosen Ideal. Make your life so sublime that when you sit and pray you do not have to fight with your mind, that you like to sit and pray. How do we do this? Daily practice. Sit at any cost, whatever the condition of your mind. Gradually, sublimity will come from within you. If you have a Master he will tell you how, otherwise your own inner self will tell you. Make your practice very regular, very faithful. If you cannot meditate just pray to God, “I’m helpless, please help me.” Do not expect things to happen without your doing; you have to sit and commune. Do not blame others or make them the target of your unhappiness. Your own nature - have you controlled it?

My question concerns a word to meditate on. What appeals to me most is Oneness.

That is fine. Do not doubt it. Stick to it if you want to realize Oneness. Some days it may feel boring. As if in Oneness there is no joy: you want to be two to play, two to love, two to share or communicate. But stay with it and the next day or third day it will again give you joy. To continue your practice is indispensible. Choose one idea, one Spirit, whichever appeals to you the most, and stick with that. And do not discuss it with others. When they tell you, “God is such and such,” just hear it. Do not condemn. Do not reject. Do not fight. Just stick to your Oneness. You are not denying other things. This is essential for your realization. Maintain a positive outlook so you are not denying others nor are you supporting them. Once you begin to have a faint idea that your vision of the Divine is better than others, then you are slipping. The mind will totter or doubt, but keep bringing it back to focus on Oneness. Sometimes it will be hard, but stay with it. One day it will become easy.

Isn’t it ego that practices?

It is ego, of course. The one who is trying to be One is ego speaking. But if you try to compare the ego that wants to be One with the mundane ego that is comparing and competing, this is distracting. Otherwise, if there was no ego in you, who would aspire to be One? Who is seeking that at all? The ego is seeking. We cannot say that your Spirit is seeking your Spirit. Is God seeking God? These are contradictions. Ego is certainly seeking, but this ego is called auspicious ego.

This is the way of practice: sincerity, faith, devotion and dedication to the chosen Ideal. And this will give you relief. But if you begin to compare - one religion with another, one Ideal with another, one denomination with another - it will be never ending. Therefore to find Oneness you have to avoid differences. Whether someone talks about God or Light or Spirit, to me there is no difference. So avoid wasting time and energy in differences. Respect others but stick with your focus. In spirituality, cooperation and a comprehensive view are needed. Freedom begets freedom, love begets love, respect begets respect. Your faith will give you strength. Your devotion will make you sublime. Your practices will make you bold. That will give you release. The Truth shall free you, by whatever name you call it.

Day in day out, through all your mind’s ups and downs, stick to the same Goal. Do not allow doubts or complacency or negligence or insincerity to creep in. This will give you more than tons of theories or theological discussions. Wise are those who understand this secret - and in their eyes it is not a secret; it is natural and common sense. The Sanskrit term is sahaja: meaning natural and spontaneous. If it is natural it will be easy and truthful. When you feel pulsating Oneness with the whole universe, you are a universal cosmic being - Virat Swarupa. Not only so: you realize that you were already so.

When you learn how to love, how to have peace, you will not be affected. Peace gives protection, love gives satisfaction, freedom gives joy. As you go on practicing sincerely with dedication you become stronger and stronger. I do not mean domination, but the strength of your will, of your soul. Courage born of your intrinsic will and soul is necessary, and practice gives you that. If you condemn others your energy will dissipate. Negative vibrations disturb your concentration. You have to protect your own practice against such onslaughts. Therefore you need boldness, courage and strength to realize your Spirit or Oneness. There is nothing greater than that.

© 2013 by Truth Consciousness. Excerpted from the Satsang: Sticking to One Idea (P-18). For further information on the audio Satsangs of Swami Amar Jyoti please see page 58 or online at